HOW TO BANG A KENYAN CAMPUS FRESHER

By Jemedari Mwanawakiume

It’s that time of the month when the freshers are reporting to various campuses. The guys in senior years are all excited because of the bevy of girls who can’t wait to give them leg, either out of curiosity or out of ignorance. But the sad news is, only 10% of the campus dudes will be banging 90% of these freshers. It is the 90-10 rule. You either know it or you don’t. So how do you make sure you are one those 10 percent dudes who will be enjoying these girls, some of whom are virgins. Here’s the only guide on how to bang a Kenyan campus fresher. If you read this and implement everything, you will be able to get leg from these freshers.

1. The Two-Week Period
This is the period where most the magic happens, if you intend to swoop these young females, this is when you must strike. The first week is the Orientation week; the same week also has the bazaar. You should aim at meeting as many freshers as possible in this time. This is because they haven’t yet attended any lectures, they are simply lousing around and are very loaded thus are not yet materialistic. You should see yourself as a founding father to her, that guy who will orient her into the ways of campus. Meet them in halls, meet them on the bazaar grounds, meet them at various faculties. For goodness sake, this is your moment to collect all the numbers, and to de-virginate as many of them as possible.

2. Introduce Them to a Party Life and Alcohol
If you are good at throwing parties, why not throw them their first campus house party at your hall room. Introduce them to shots and alcohol, and how campus dances are done. You could also take them around to your popular joints and once in a while take them for the campus nights or any hot club. Remember you are making your first impressions. You are building your harem. The parties they attended in high school pale down in comparison to what you are offering them.

Freshers at a house party.

3. Don’t do them one night stands, do them 1000 night stands
Because you are the first guy they are meeting at campus, you don’t want to leave the impression that all campus dudes are hit and run guys. You must pretend to be in love with your harem of freshers while at the same time banging them. Slowly by slowly as the semester goes on, the relationship will break off on its own, but you will remain their first cut and many of them will never forget you. In fact, some will continue giving leg to you out of mercy because of the respect and loyalty they have for you as a founding father.

4. Form a Social Circle of Your Freshers (The Harem)
All the magic is happening in the first two weeks. In these first two weeks, you should create your social circle of freshers. Perhaps, create your own whatsapp group with a couple of buddies (not more than four), then have hot discussions here, talk about sex, and plan parties and hangouts. Let this be the group they go to on whatsapp to get fun, and to find proggie.
The other importance at this period of the semester, is that these freshers don’t know lots of people (except for the real hoes). Most only know their roomies and the people they went with to high school. Of course these girls are only hanging around with those OBs and OGs for lack of better options, so you are helping them create new friendships and social circles. Together with your wingmen, you create social circles out of these freshers from scratch. You won’t ever be cockblocked, you will get flaked on less.

5. Have Social Proof Game
Some of us who happen to be writers (bloggers & Authors) are already enjoying the benefits of fame. When freshers know that you are associated with a brand, they will freely give you leg. This is why social proof matters. Girls want to hang out with people that other people already hang out with. If a girl for example knows that you write for campus Press, she will automatically consider you cool and you will find it easy to get head and leg from her. And here’s the good thing about freshers, when they see other hot girls hanging around you, they will automatically consider you attractive and will bring themselves to you. That’s the power of social proof.

6. Be Popular on Social Media
If you can figure out how to get at least 50 LIKES on every post of yours on Facebook, get over 1000 followers on twitter and instagram, freshers will automatically like your swag and you will find it easy to bang them.

7. Frequent Campus Nights and Popular Hang Outs
Since these freshers have nothing to do in the first two weeks, they will be flocking to every bar and club around town. In fact, for those at MAIN CAMPUSES, studies only begin after a month. So begin with Legends, add on Panamera, add on Amnesia, for goodness sake, don’t forget those popular clubs around, you will be sure to find lots of freshers here. Most of them move in packs, and are always over-dressed, and all looking curious. Pick them up and have some cool one night stands with no strings attached.

8. Have the best room at your hostel
Now the best room is one that’s best furnished. She comes and finds that LCD screen, sees some cool home theatre, some great movies for two. Your aim is to invite her to your room for a movie, and then cuddle slowly. Please take it slow, make her feel comfortable, you can always invite her for another day and bang her then. Don’t ever force her into sex. Just be a smooth operator and seduce her, let her be the one going down on you… Pimp up your room

9. Learn Game, Remember
A Relationship only begins after sex
Most dudes don’t have game. Most can’t approach a girl. Some who dare to approach are boring, and thus get rejected immediately, they can’t keep up a conversation nor interest a girl. So, pick up some books and learn game. Look up a book called BANG by ROOSH and read it. Or look up THe Game by NEIL STRAUSS, learn to crack some jokes and make people laugh. But don’t over do it, otherwise you will come off as a clown. Finally remember, a relationship only begins after sex, don’t do things that boyfriends do for a girl until you have banged her. Don’t take her to movies, don’t take her for shopping, don’t take her to dinners. Stop being a silly nice guy otherwise you won’t get laid. Be that asshole in disguise.

10. Finally it’s about Quantity
People ask me how I am able to bang some of the hottest girls on campus; the secret is that I am willing to approach a number of girls, get rejected by some, then get numbers of some. Even for those who give you numbers, some will flake and won’t ever reply your messages. But here’s the secret, the more you approach, the more you increase your chances of getting laid. Out of 10 girls, at least 2 are willing to give you leg if you only approach them.

With those ten tips, you will only have yourself to blame if you fail to enjoy this season of plenty. As Jesus said in MATHEW 9: 37; “the freshers willing to be banged are many, but the bangers are few.” The harvest my friend is plentiful, but the labourers, the few dudes willing to implement these ten tips are few.

With that said, you can reach me on most popular Campus Blog http://jemedarimwanawakiume.blogspot.co.ke or my email willymuchiri@gmail.com or Whatsapp number: 0724382729 share tips, gossip, experiences, photos and things you want me to write about. Or I don’t also mind your hot snap if you are a hot female fresher hihihii...