THE MU (MONSTER UNIVERSITY) STORIES: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.

By Jemedari Mwanawakiume

I am telling you that this shyt of campus is a joke. A real one. Once you attend the first lecture, you realize that you too can become a lecturer. Going to lectures is a complete waste of time. The lecturers pretend to be teaching, while the students pretend to be grasping. When I figured out that the emperor at campus was naked, I slashed by attendance by 99% and only attended 1% of the lectures that mattered.

So you ask, what did I do for those other strict lecturers? Simply get someone to sign your attendance and live your life. If you can crack the code, you may end up with a First Class Degree without even working hard for it.

I cracked the Engineering school code, and dude, I ended up way far. I saw people who attended every lecture, went to libraries, and handed in assignments on time, end up performing below me. Hahaha serves them right. Who the f*ck did they think they were? Huh? To pass the exams, just get the handouts, and past papers, read them a week to the exam, and you will be good to go. Not actually good, but great to go. You will smash the balls out of those exams. Of course you won’t top the class by doing this. You may not be in the top tier, but you will end up in the middle tier, where most people end up. You know what that means? That you will end up with a Second-class degree, and most likely, an upper one.

So what did I use my extra time outside lectures for? Well, now that I had ounces of time of me, I decided to do two things. Get a life and get money to support that life. I went out, got a job, but begun learning game on the side.

It’s the game part that I write about here. There’s this girl, let’s call her Twany Shoobie. She was a year ahead of me. I was in first year and the f*ck3r was in 3rd year. They always told me, that the quickest way to find girls is to create superb social circles. So I had this one whole big social circle that saw me meet about 3 new girls every week. Meaning, on average, I was making 3 new friends every week. But Twany Shoobie was not like other girls. I call TWANY because she was TINY. But I call her SHOOBIE because despite being Twany, she had shit (A Big Butt) and a hell of Boobs thus Shoobie. The first time I meet Shoobie, I could already see myself getting a share of the things that made her Shoobie (What her mama gave her).

I call her SHOOBIE because she had shit and a hell of Boobs.

I ask her out on a movie date, at my hostel. For starters, girls over there, any time a dude asks you to visit him to his hostel, please know that he wants to bang you, and that’s a polite way of asking for some sex.

Day comes, Shoobie comes around. I was still staying at HAKUMATT hostel in MU. One of those few dudes that had a room to themselves. Not that I had a single, but my roomie was rarely present. That week, I spent Ksh. 10K buying new bed sheets (first impression matters), and then got some movies from a friend next door, and bought some crisps and smirnoffs. Shoobie was already bedazzled. In her mind, she saw a relationship lasting years. In my mind, I saw her open legs.

So, we are watching the movie, I get closer to her, we are talking and flirting. I go in for the first kiss. She does a head-turn. I know something is not yet right. WTF? I escalate once again, this time she kisses me like am the thing she’d always waited to kiss.

 Immediately my boner saluted ready to fire one on one. We are kissing, am caressing her, I begin to take off her bra. Some slight resistance, later she accepts.

Then am smoothening her thighs, rubbing my body on them. I fold up her dress, she takes my hands off. It’s last minute resistance I guess. But persistence my friend, persistence kills even the strongest. I know she’s already wet, but in her mind she can’t believe a first year is about to bang her. Then she begins moaning; “Willies nooo…noooo, we can’t do this…”
Is she even sober? Does she know that I just spent 10K on this whole set-up. That is a bag of cement and paint. 10k on a date, And you dont want to collect D. that is why it is called a DATE, After u ATE food. the D is waiting you Girl.

Shoobie was reminding me of those girls. Girl visits. You put out the lights. Your hand crawls towards her bra hook & she’ll be asking “what are you doing?” Lol, I’m cooking food.

Afterwards, she gives in. And it’s like she was now raping me. I swear, it’s like the slore out of her had exploded. Slore for you my fake readers is a combination of Slut and whore. She rode me like a Mercedes Benz. I was literally begging for her mercy. She was taking out all the horn she’d kept for her years at MU on me. I was the guy who was paying for all the Ds she would have taken but she didn’t.

I write this story to say, be careful what you wish for. Here’s a girl that many were scared of approaching, she was hot. But she was also a staunch born-again Christian. But in those moments when she was humping up and down on me, there was nothing Christian about her, it’s like the devil was punishing Willies the saint for praying so hard for the poosy. Next time I saw Shoobie was on Facebook where she was writing updates about how fornication is bad. Girl, why didn’t you remember that as you mistreated me in bed? Next time I saw her again, she was graduating. Now when I see girls of the Shoobie kind, I plan for the best, but expect the worst. My D took weeks to heal from her punishments.

NOTE: This story is just a creation.
#CreativeStoroByJemedari.