The Demons of the Final Semester

 

 
 Whatever demon comes into people in the Final and last Semester of University must be a strong one. Somehow, everyone feels the urge to do the things that they failed to accomplish in four or three years in just a few months.


The dudes who played ‘monk’, approached no girls, had no sex, all of a sudden go on a rampage. I told you of the dude we landed on cheating on his girlfriend and he asked us to keep ‘mum’. Well, the girlfriend had been starving him.

Then the girls? Even those who’ve been in those campus fellowships, all of a sudden make their first trips to the night clubs and parties. Then the men hunting also begins. No girl wants to go home single. Everyone begins to hold on tightly to whatever thing is called a man.

If you have a girlfriend in the final semester, it’s the worst moment. She will begin telling you all the names of your in-laws and what her mother expects from a man.

Talking of DEGREE, I have never seen people dead-beat, running in circles trying to increase a DEGREE in just months. These things happen. All of a sudden, we remember we needed first class degrees.

Then the worries about jobs begin. Everyone is getting philosophical about; “What next after University?”

Everyone is on the hunt for job opportunities. Everyone is inquiring about connections and which company is hiring. Those who didn’t tuck in their shirts before, begin tucking in. Whereas some of us, become more of rebels, since we know what we gonna miss, others become more of conservative.

Suddenly, every lecturer’s advice becomes worth listening to. The final semester demons are really alive. You can only understand them after experiencing them.
One thing I am certain of, these are demons that were always in us, they only get to power up in the final semester. It’s people chasing leg. Girls dreading the thoughts of going back to their parents’ homes and losing their freedom once again. Dudes thinking of moving out.

It’s only in this last semester that campusers try to cross the bridge before they reach it. Keep calm dudes and dudettes. Things are not as scary as they try to portray them to you. It’s the same normal world.

You will wake up, poop, brush your teeth in the same way you always did. You will look almost the same way. Or, did I tell you, that girls in the final year reply messages faster than anything in this world. She will reply it even before she reads it….

Hail the gods of FINAL SEMESTER of the final year…!!!

Moi University Friendzone

 

It is with a heavy heart that I recall my life in 1st year at MU (Monster University) when at one time I served as a deputy to the custody of a woman’s heart, when I embraced the mantle of a vice-boyfriend, when I was a side nigga, a ceremonial side nigga.

She had called me at around 6.00PM and told me that she was feeling low and needed cheer-up. I liked her a lot, she liked me too but not just enough to have sex with me yet; not because she was observing the 90 days rule, heck we’d then known each other for over 4 months, 141 days to be precise. Her reason was that she had a boyfriend. Truth is that she actually did….

Often she wasn’t the 1st to call; actually she wasn’t calling at anytime at all. Heck, Even if I left 6 missed calls trying to call her, I’d still be the one who would call the next day in the morning asking “ehh jana inakaa nilipiga simu kama umeshalala, sema lakini?” despite the fact that on the said previous day I had started calling her from 3.00PM in the afternoon. It was that bad.

I got to her room. It was the usual, she had quarreled with her boyfriend. She kept telling me how the dude doesn’t care about her and blah blah blah. My work was to listen to all that bullshit and tell her all will be okay hoping that in her sorrow she would succumb to the desires of the flesh and subject me to some coitus. I offered to buy her supper, we went to sonford, bought chips and kuku (takeaway) for two, and some yoghurt then went back to her room to eat.

While in her room, my room-mate texted me “Erico, uko wapi buana..kuja tuende stage tununue chakula” to which I thunderously replied “Leo nimepikiwa supper huku boss , wewe ji-sort tu”. The lady went to search for a good movie so that we watch it while eating. Minutes later someone knocked her door…since she wasn’t inside the room I went and opened the door. A nigga stood there looking at me puzzled..i returned the same look

She came back just in time to find the stand-off. “ohh NICK!! What a lovely surprise, Eric this is Nick, Nick this is Eric. Eric ni beshte ya caro na alikuwa amekujia movie Fulani alinisaidia nayo juzi. Eric ndio hii ile movie thanks, nitashow caro ulipitia!!” The nigga then eased himself into the room, went and rested majestically on her bed. As I wore my shoes , I remembered this lady had said her boyfriend was called Nick. Caro was her room-mates name and no I wasn’t friends with her room-mate. I stood up, picked the movie and said “sawa si tutaongea”, gave the nigga one painful look and left.

While I was signing out at the door security check, the guard made a joke abit out of taste. “Hiyo room no. 12 mumejipata fahali wawili leo, wewe ndio umetimuliwa ehh. Ulikuwa umekula ata?” It was then that I remembered my kuku chips and yoghurt. Went back to her room, Tried to knock but all I heard was music in the background and the lights were off. I left, knowing that mating was in progress, mating that had eluded my comfort for 141 days.

I wanted to go back to my room but remembered I have bragged to my room-mate that I was being cooked for. So with one hundred shillings remaining in my pocket I went back to a hotel, ordered chips kavu ate while I deliberated how that nigga would pounce on my kuku n chips n yogurt after bedding the woman I loved. I still wipe my tears remembering that night.

The Perfect Female to Male Ratio for Campus House Party

What is the ideal female to male ratio for house parties? I say 60:40.

My Reasons:

1. If there are way more guys, no one will enjoy it. Thirsty guys will swarm the ladies and smother them. The ladies will reject most of them and the guys they would have liked to talk to (i.e the cool guys) would avoid the commotion altogether and sit in a corner among themselves or just leave. Everyone will leave saying the party was shit.

2. If there are way more ladies, like a 80:20 ratio, no one will enjoy it – not even the guys. I know, you’re thinking ‘more women!’ but the truth is those more women will huddle up into groups and be unresponsive to guys out of some solidarity with the sisters. The ugly ones will put pressure on the cute ones not to entertain any offers for conversation from guys. I’ve seen this many times. Hahahaha

3. A fifty fifty ratio is not as good as it sounds. Everyone will assume there’s someone better to talk to so everyone is constantly moving around and not focusing on anybody thus no meaningful conversations are had.

4. A 60:40 female to ratio is just right. The ladies are excited and ready to mingle. There being slightly more of them makes them more daring so some will ratchet up their game for some attention. Hahahahaha. And since there aren’t too many guys they will feel more comfortable coming out of their shell. This will in turn increase interaction and overall fun for everybody.

Editor’s Note: Even a 1:1 ratio would work, Even a 1:2 or 2:1. All you have to do is eliminate anything called phones, social media, whatsapp… just eliminate any distraction and the party will be on. Otherwise even a 60:40, if women have their phones, a house party will still be a bore.

SEXPRENEURS: How Campusers Are Running Shops Between Their Legs?

It is the rise and rise of sexpreneurs

The Nineties didn’t only usher in a women rights consciousness, together, they slowly ushered in the possibility of sexpreneurs. For many, the death of love at Universities begun in the nineties.

The changes were first noticed when Universities admitted its first Private students. They brought in a cultural shift, it was a silent revolution that slowly swept the Universities. Because the parents of these children could now use money to buy degrees, they were determined to ensure that their children also surpassed those on government sponsorship when it came to better standards of living while at University.

As time went on, government was slowly cutting down on allowances, students on government sponsorship were left with no option but to use the land between their legs to get what they didn’t have. And so the competition begun, it was this competition between campusers that produced the sexpreneurs of today.

Unlike in the 2000s, in the nineties girls detoothed men but they saw themselves as future wives of those men. Polygamy was still normal in. The girls didn’t mind being groomed into second wives of the men who sponsored their campus lifestyle.

Yet the feminism gossip continued to preach otherwise. The girls were being told not to allow a man to make them a second wife. Yet, they were also told a man should foot all the bills. It seems, girls were being told to cherry pick from the best of the traditional settings and in the modern settings. So, they strived to become career women but left men to carry out all the funding yet at the same time rejected early marriages or the prospect of being second wives. FIDA even made it possible to fight off these desperate men who didn’t want to let go.

Thus, today, sexpreneurs are the order of the day at all Universities. In a free market where the forces of demand and supply are left to their own, there has been an exponential rise in mini-relationships, booty calls, one night stands and moneysex at campus.

Girls now feel like they should be getting something from a man during or after sex. Sex is no longer a process of a couple making love, it’s now an act where girls feel they are doing men a favour to get it. Since there is a reduction in the number of real beautiful women in shape, the few who exist are being hit on by a number of men, both fellow campusers and the working class. The working class is willing to splash money to get a quick night of fun from these campusers who know better sex styles and positions than their expired wives in homes. As a result, the dollar rate of sex at University has been rising as the value of a man has been going down slowly but surely like the shilling.

But why and how are campus girls leasing their precious land?

Well, the times have changed. Girls now want to live the lifestyle of billionaires while at campus. It is cut-throat competition. If the boyfriend of her roommate picks her in a car, she will expect that her boyfriend too upgrades from a bodaboda to a car as soon as possible otherwise he will be dumped for no clear reason other than for the weakness of his wallet. Girls now want to have their birthdays thrown in form of boat cruises with a specific theme. They also wish to have a RAV-4 or Spacio to park in their hostel space. They hate rebounding clothes. They expect to hold the latest gadget such as the iphone 6 once it gets released. Yet at the same time, they want to have a share of fame and attention.

Thus, girls are now desiring for money and fame. Any man who has those or at least one of those in plenty gets to share their coockie. From the many cars that park at hostels on Friday evenings, the game has just been taken to another level.

Campus dudes are now being left with no option but to target freshers and senior students who are yet to know about this culture of using sex to buy a lifestyle of your dreams. Some girls come from homes where a car has never parked in their compound but they’re already cruising big fuel guzzlers even before they graduate.

And it’s not a big deal to graduate. They can service these horny male lecturers with sex and get marks. They can supplement this with money and they will be on the graduation lists. When they graduate, these girls now dread going back home and having jobs that require them to get locked down from 8am to 5pm. They thus look for men who are willing to make their life simple, create them boutiques and stock them every month plus pay the rent to those boutiques.

On top of that, girls will want a man to rent them an apartment of over 15K in nearby big towns and fuel their cars. Yet, it is difficult to find one man who can be all those things. The only girls getting married are those who find men that can be all those things, other women, they have given up on marriage.

They get a number of men whom they assign specific roles. They even save their phone numbers with those roles. When you look through these girls phone books, you will find names such as Willy concerts, Kelvin Serena, Jimmy tour and travel, Dennoh free drinks and pork and Tombeast orgasm giver.

They will then supplement this money by engaging in corporate prostitution. It is not the kind where they line up on Speke road and haggle openly. In corporate prostitution, the deals are brokered on phone. You state your price for her coockie and she asks you to increase it or add a transport allowance to it. Then she will come to your place and give you the sex. For this reason, the pimps business has gone up. Pimps now earn a commission the same way middle men or house brokers earn theirs.

These girls have rates that keep fluctuating but it seems 5K is the new standard rate, that’s if she’s coming to your place to give you sex for a few minutes and she aint sleeping over and you are giving her transport to and fro. In exceptional incidences when these girls are too broke, they will reduce the price to 2K for their regular customers.

There are the five star girls who charge not less than 10K for a night. They have their clients on Whatsapp that they keep seducing with nude photos and once the client talks of sex, they state their price. They are willing to do live sex if a client doubles or triples the price. Live sex at the moment among these campusers goes for 25K, they have stocked up doses of PEP just in case they suspect you have a virus.

One thing they hate is when their periods strike. The shops between their legs are forced to shut down and these girls only do two things during this time, give head and do top-topping.

When one stands on Universitys' roads today, it will be quick to notice these young ladies cruising their cars and living the perfect lifestyle. They discovered oil fields between their legs and nothing will stop them from selling their oil until it dries up.

It is the rise and rise of sexpreneurs. Their whatsapp messages are always buzzing with notifications. You will find celebs in those phones, you will find lawyers, engineers, tax officials and even top politicians. These sexpreneurs now password protect every folder on their phones lest one steals their clients.

How does one connect to these sexpreneurs? Well, when your wallet is ready, you will automatically see them. You will know them when you see them. They are on Facebook and Instagram posting the hottest photos of themselves, moving from concert to concert. They never tag their sponsors in those photos and their profiles show they are single. Many never officially graduate from campus, they mention the same age from year to year even though the wrinkles and stretch marks are slowly beginning to betray them. They are commonest at public universities and are slowly rising in private universities. Many disguise themselves as models and ushers at various corporate events. But behind these models and ushers are girls willing to sell what they have to get what they don’t.

Yes, sexpreneurs are real, campus girls are running shops between their legs. There is no more free sex, you pay for it in one form or another. Even that girlfriend of yours who you claim gives you free sex, she will ask you for at least 5K every week disguised under things like hair or this and that. It is now impossible to get free sex in universities, however it is possible to get cheap but quality sex if a guy has some good game and fame.

For men now, you should be having at least two of these three things to enjoy an abundance of sex; fame, game and money.

Till next time, keep buying!!!!

10 BOOKS Every University Student In Kenya MUST READ

Whereas everyone decries the reading culture in Kenya, no one remembers to hold the writers to account. Could it be that people don’t read because they lack appropriate material to read? Or that a lot of gutter material blankets content that would and should be read by most people? I bring you the 10 books that every university student in Kenya must read. These are books that everyone should read before they leave campus. You will be surprised, there’s a writer who has three books on this list.

1.    AntiFragile by Nassim K Taleb

We could possibly recommend that one begins with Taleb’s black swan book before advancing to his other books of Antifragile and Fooled by Randomness. On the other hand, if a University student believes they don’t have the time to read all his three books, then, they could stick to reading only one book from him-AntiFragile that documents things and systems that gain from disorder. This book will put one in the top one percent thinkers in one’s University.

2.    Poor Charlie’s Almanac by Charlie Munger

This is comparable to Charlie Munger’s Autobiography. He shares the wisdom that has helped him and Warren Buffet keep on the top of their game when it comes to investment. He’s that business partner of Warren Buffet that is rarely mentioned. In this book, he makes a strong case for Subtractive Knowledge, especially the principles of Inversion noting that the most important thing in life is to know where you will die from and not go there. Finally, he brings us 25 cognitive biases that see most people fall in the traps of life.

3.    Lessons of History by Will Durant

Will Durant is probably the greatest historical philosopher that graced the modern times. He’s a man who dedicated more than 40 years of his life documenting various events and personalities in history. His book, lessons of history will sum up the reasons and conclusions we take from the study of history. Once you go through this first book of his, you may dare yourself to read; “the story of philosophy” and “the story of civilization.” For an extra mile, you could then think of reading the book; “10 Great Thinkers and Ideas of All Time.” In that book, he mentions 100 books for an education. A list of books you that should take you for 4 years, after which, you will come off wiser and knowledgeable with an education that no University can offer.

4.    Assholes Finish First by Tucker Max

Tucker Max singlehandedly invented a new genre in writing, and that is “fratire.” This is a book that will get you laughing your ribs out. And once you read this book of his, you will automatically be driven to read the other three; I Hope They Sell beer in Hell, Hilarity Ensues and Sloppy Seconds.
tucker max

5.    On The Shortness of Life by Lucius Seneca

Majority complain that life is short, and even in its shortness, it rushes by at rocket speed. This is not a book; it’s a mere Essay that disputes this fact. The Roman Philosopher Seneca maintains that life is not as short as we think; we merely waste a lot of it, beseeched by vices and other distractions. He notes that the portion of life which we live is very small, the rest is time. This is an essay that will awaken you.

6.    Personal Development For Smart People by Steve Pavlina

Majority of self-help books are hogwash, they will insult your intelligence. Do not count Steve Pavlina’s book among that lot. This is a book that will give you the very roots of personal development. It will show you how to take your life from this point to the next point, and you will do so consciously. This book must be read before one attends their first lecture in University. It will form the foundation for all the years you will spend in University.

7.    Steve Jobs Biography by Walter Isaacson

Many people think that books are a one-time read, material that you read and brag about. This biography of Steve Jobs will get you questioning those myths about books. It will be a book that you will read and find yourself coming back to now and again for elucidation in life. It’s a book about a man who abandoned, drops out of college, and goes ahead to revolutionize three industries. If you have used the Iphone, the Ipod or the fonts on your computer, then there’s a man to thank for that role.

8.    Losing My Virginity by Richard Branson

 That a man who was born with dyslexia goes ahead to start over 400 companies is a record-breaking story in Entrepreneurship. This is the story of the Virgin Group right from its inception. Richard Branson shares every secret of his generously. And if you enjoy this book, then you should read his other book; “Screw it, let’s do it.”

9.    The Game by Neil Strauss (for Male Students) The Rules by Ellen Fein (for Female Students)

for Male Students

for Female Students

Many male students struggle with how to pick up girls. How do you approach a girl you like? How do you stir interest? What are the techniques? The Game by Neil Strauss is that one book that every male student at campus should read. The Rules is a book that Steve Harvey basically plagiarized to produce his own book. Every female student must read this book.

10.    Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

This book is set in a time before the White Man comes to Africa, and the aftermath once he’s been accepted in African society. You will fall in love with the Character Okonkwo, above all, you will understand a great part of our African heritage. The African wisdom that is dissipated in form of proverbs will leave you in awe of our ancestors. It’s a book that should be read at every beginning of a Semester.
achebe

BONUS BOOKS
There are books that didn’t make the top ten list that I feel when one gets time, they should go ahead and read them.
-Animal Farm by George Orwell
-The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma
– Conjectures and Refutations by Karl Popp
– The Road to Serfdom by Frederick Von Hayek
-48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
– Guns, Germs and Steel by Jarred Diamonds

Once one goes through the strenuous times of reading these books, they will definitely find themselves charting out the course of the next books to read. The beauty about books, the more you read, the more you fall in love with reading them.

How To Know When A Campus Babe Wants To Show You her Kitone

Every campus guy has been asking us at Campus Vibe254 “how do I know when she’s ready for the D?” Well, there are a million ways to kill a rat, but there are also a few sure ways to kill that rat. This is how to know when your campus babe wants you to hit it and she’s hyper ready to show you her kitone.

Campus baes will text you the following when they want you to hit it?

1. You’re so lost, where are you?
When she begins with the line of ‘you’re so lost’, she’s literally asking you to invite her over or to ask to get to her place. Don’t even second-think, no girl puts lost and where in the same statement unless she’s ready for you.

2. Have you eaten? Then you reply NO and she asks that you can join her.
This is a line that was copied from Moi, K.U and UoN Universities. Since the girls from these universities are wife-material, they know that the other way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So, she will ask you to come over for supper and next thing you know, you will be enjoying her kitone.

3. I am sick, so you can go over and pay her a visit
Do we even have to explain this? No sick person ever calls. So, if she says she’s sick, she’s literally daring you to go over and prove that you are a real man. Don’t act surprised when you reach her hostel only to find that her roomie is away and she’s half-dressed. It’s your moment bro, go hit it as hard as you can.

These are the ten certified reasons why we hate campus baes, why relationships at campus don’t last beyond 3 months and end the moment she lets you to taste her poosy.

1. Campus Baes are always on WTF. By this we mean, Whatsapp, Twitter and Facebook. Campus Baes are addicted to their smartphones. If your campus girl is on a phone while on a date, then she better be calculating how much the food she’s ordered is.

2. Campus Baes have endless drama. Campus Baes will get mad at you for things you have zero control over. This one once asked me; “why is there girls in your course unit?” I had to apologize for that too…as if I am the academic registrar…

3. Campus Baes don’t know how to cook or to do laundry. When she comes to visit you, the best you are getting from her is sex. It’s the only thing campus baes have to offer. Yet we offer them love, transport fare back, our time and our food. They can’t cook. They can’t help out with your room chores.

4. Most Campus Baes drink like their fathers. Back then, they used to cook like their mothers, but not anymore. The only thing they will instantly accept for a date is if you assure them it’s to a bar. They hate the conventional locations. All they want is to drink, black-out and forget about their artificial hair.

5. Talking of artificial and fake things. Nothing on Campus Baes is natural anymore. Their hair is fake, the eye lashes are fake, the booty is fake yet they still want a real man. What’s real about them?

6. They use their pees as the reason why they can’t have sex. You call her over, she agrees to all the foreplay and as you get to the fruit, she exclaims; “Ian am in my pees…” When a campus chic tell you she’s on her period and still thinks she can come over. Come over to do what? To waste more of my time and money? Stay at your Olympia hostel.

7. Campus Baes are players. They have no true love. They will always assign a certain role to each of their boyfriend. There’s on responsible for the sex and orgasm department. There’s another responsible for refreshing her wardrobe. There’s another responsible for her Friday Night fun.

8. They claim to love god-fearing men, yet go out to date men that are far from god-fearing. Nothing is more attractive as the fear of God in a man. Ladies right? I mean who needs abs when you’re God fearing.

9. They will kill you on a dance floor with their crazy dances mimicked from Jamaican ladies. You dancing with a Campus girl and she intros a dance move with a clap? Boy…just shift back, she’s about to morphe something big.
10. Campus Baes will always expect you to buy them airtime and MBs and will still have the audacity to beep you even after you do this. So what is the airtime for? To call your mother?

11. Finally, Campus Baes are very confusing. You will never know their real faces. On Monday, she will look like Beyonce Knowles, on Tuesday, she will metamorphose into Sanyu Robinah Mweruka and on Saturday morning, you wake up to a face of Mama Fiina in your bed. They are always applying instagram filters to their photos. One day when they go missing, we don’t know which face we shall put on posters.

12. ADD MORE REASONS.

Ten Reasons We Hate Campus Baes

Campus Eye

March 13, 2015

 1  0

 0  0 These are the ten certified reasons why we hate campus baes, why relationships at campus don’t last beyond 3 months and end the moment she lets you to taste her poosy. 1. Campus Baes are always on WTF. By this we mean, Whatsapp, Twitter and Facebook. Campus Baes are addicted to their smartphones. If your campus girl is on a phone while on a date, then she better be calculating how much the food she’s ordered is.

2. Campus Baes have endless drama. Campus Baes will get mad at you for things you have zero control over. This one once asked me; “why is there girls in your course unit?” I had to apologize for that too…as if I am the academic registrar…
3. Campus Baes don’t know how to cook or to do laundry. When she comes to visit you, the best you are getting from her is sex. It’s the only thing campus baes have to offer. Yet we offer them love, transport fare back, our time and our food. They can’t cook. They can’t help out with your room chores.
4. Most Campus Baes drink like their fathers. Back then, they used to cook like their mothers, but not anymore. The only thing they will instantly accept for a date is if you assure them it’s to a bar. They hate the conventional locations. All they want is to drink, black-out and forget about their artificial hair.
5. Talking of artificial and fake things. Nothing on Campus Baes is natural anymore. Their hair is fake, the eye lashes are fake, the booty is fake yet they still want a real man. What’s real about them?
6. They use their pees as the reason why they can’t have sex. You call her over, she agrees to all the foreplay and as you get to the fruit, she exclaims; “Ian am in my pees…” When a campus chic tell you she’s on her period and still thinks she can come over. Come over to do what? To waste more of my time and money? Stay at your Olympia hostel.
7. Campus Baes are players. They have no true love. They will always assign a certain role to each of their boyfriend. There’s on responsible for the sex and orgasm department. There’s another responsible for refreshing her wardrobe. There’s another responsible for her Friday Night fun.
8. They claim to love god-fearing men, yet go out to date men that are far from god-fearing. Nothing is more attractive as the fear of God in a man. Ladies right? I mean who needs abs when you’re God fearing.
9. They will kill you on a dance floor with their crazy dances mimicked from Jamaican ladies. You dancing with a Campus girl and she intros a dance move with a clap? Boy…just shift back, she’s about to morphe something big.
10. Campus Baes will always expect you to buy them airtime and MBs and will still have the audacity to beep you even after you do this. So what is the airtime for? To call your mother?
11. Finally, Campus Baes are very confusing. You will never know their real faces. On Monday, she will look like Beyonce Knowles, on Tuesday, she will metamorphose into Sanyu Robinah Mweruka and on Saturday morning, you wake up to a face of Mama Fiina in your bed. They are always applying instagram filters to their photos. One day when they go missing, we don’t know which face we shall put on posters.
12. ADD MORE REASONS.

- See more at: http://campuseye.ug/ten-reasons-we-hate-campus-baes/#sthash.FIMzWTCE.dpuf

Fresher's Night

Just hearing this term “Fresher”, I get irritated knowing that it’s now being used to refer to me. Damn! It just actually reminds me of the “Bunsen Burner” times in my Senior One but who cares, at least everyone has been called that if they went through the university, they were once “freshmen” and it will also pass.

So yes, the admission lists for those admitted on private sponsorship were out and my name appeared, there I was with the course i have always desired to pursue. Do not ask me about the government sponsorship because being sincere, I saw no use of filling the KUCPS or call them JAB forms reason being, I was not expecting miracles especially after sitting for those examinations. Call me dumb or daft but those who have been there know what I mean. That aside, on seeing my name, I called dad and he joined me in my excitement.

 Also read:http://jemedarimwanawakiume.blogspot.co.ke/2015/09/freshers-search-for-sugar-daddy-goes.html

I was thinking okay, am now joining the university like vacation is ending without even having fulfilled my goals(The vacists know what goals am referrin to from getting a job to attending all the harez that got to my notice)but reality kicked these expectations out with the tight curfew from parents.

I picked my provisional letter from my faculty like any normal admitted student and on reaching home, I presented it to my father just the tuition fees raised an alarm it was not the normal three figured digit he used to see on my high school bankslips, these are thousands including the functional fees! But he is a classic man ,he acted gentle and said “it’s ok my daughter, if that is what you want, you will surely get it”
Happy me, I started telling all the relatives that were coming home to visit how am a campusser till one day, this one aunty of mine nailed it!

“You are now going to a deadly zone the world is not as simple as you see it. Watch the type of friends you hang out with, some are wolves who just want you down.  Do not just take anything lightly, avoid partying late in the night, they can drug you. You can be raped and please abstain okay use a condom where you cannot help it etc”

I cannot exhaust it all, so am thinking to myself Really??!! Do I need this education or whatsoever, I have been through this stuff though I do not jazz you but i have done that before so no need duh!

But in reality, this girl here is so scared, nervous, hyper and excited about this whole campus life though she is acting aka hardcore …

It’s disturbing though how my parents are now getting so much involved in my life after all those 13 years of boarding school when I wasn’t in their hands from the age of 6 years so why now when am 19 where even the constitution of our country terms me as an “adult” but I have got to deal with it my way may be their love has just drastically been hiked up who knows so use the moment profitably while it lasts by writing the longest shopping list ever including whatever crosses my mind without hesitation whether I will get everything there.

All in all, I am excited about this new big step in my life “THE CAMPUSS LIFE”

Are you a Fresher and have a story to share? Send us a Whatsapp message on 0724382729

TALES OF A FRESHER: Why I Hate The Word ‘Fresher’

Campus Eye

August 7, 2015

 10  0

 0  0 By Lizzy Nakamoga

Just hearing this term “Fresher”, I get irritated knowing that it’s now being used to refer to me. Damn! It just actually reminds me of the “Bunsen Burner” times in my Senior One but who cares, at least everyone has been called that if they went through the university, they were once “freshmen” and it will also pass.
So yes, the admission lists for those admitted on private sponsorship were out and my name appeared, there I was with the course i have always desired to pursue. Do not ask me about the government sponsorship because being sincere, I saw no use of filling the PUJAB or call them JAB forms reason being, I was not expecting miracles especially after sitting for those examinations. Call me dumb or daft but those who have been there know what I mean. That aside, on seeing my name, I called dad and he joined me in my excitement.
I was thinking okay, am now joining the university like vacation is ending without even having fulfilled my goals(The vacists know what goals am referrin to from getting a job to attending all the harez that got to my notice)but reality kicked these expectations out with the tight curfew from parents.
I picked my provisional letter from my faculty like any normal admitted student and on reaching home, I presented it to my father just the tuition fees raised an alarm it was not the normal six figured digit he used to see on my high school bankslips, these are millions including the functional fees! But he is a classic man ,he acted gentle and said “it’s ok my daughter, if that is what you want, you will surely get it”
Happy me, I started telling all the relatives that were coming home to visit how am a campusser till one day, this one aunty of mine nailed it!
“You are now going to a deadly zone the world is not as simple as you see it. Watch the type of friends you hang out with, some are wolves who just want you down.  Do not just take anything lightly, avoid partying late in the night, they can drug you. You can be raped and please abstain okay use a condom where you cannot help it e.t.c”
I cannot exhaust it all, so am thinking to myself Really??!! Do I need this education or whatsoever, I have been through this stuff though I do not jazz you but i have done that before so no need duh!
But in reality, this girl here is so scared, nervous, hyper and excited about this whole campuss life though she is acting aka hardcore …
It’s disturbing though how my parents are now getting so much involved in my life after all those 13 years of boarding school when I wasn’t in their hands from the age of 6 years so why now when am 19 where even the constitution of our country terms me as an “adult” but I have got to deal with it my way may be their love has just drastically been hiked up who knows so use the moment profitably while it lasts by writing the longest shopping list ever including whatever crosses my mind without hesitation whether I will get everything there.
All in all, I am excited about this new big step in my life “THE CAMPUSS LIFE”
Are you a Fresher and have a story to share? Send us a whatsapp message on

- See more at: http://campuseye.ug/tales-of-a-fresher-why-i-hate-the-word-fresher/#sthash.ZjCznKrd.dpuf

How Campus Students Give in to Sex for Internships

Campus students dread internships, at least some of them do. Campus Vibe254  can confirm that students go to great lengths to get internship. Apparently, some campus lasses don’t even mind trading sex for internship opportunities. This seems to have become the order of the day.

A fourth year female student who undertook her internship at a local  company for two months, told Campus Vibe254 that she had to endure sexual harassment at the company by most men, and was even denied the monthly stipend because she refused to sleep with one of the bosses. “Someone called me from a top company after I had dropped my intern application. He wanted me to sleep with him before he could give me the position,” said the Communication Engineering student. Another student, *Linda, said she turned down several sexual demands from men who made it clear to her that nothing comes easy. She had to wait for more than four months to get a placement, by which time the deadline stipulated by the school had lapsed.

“I got a placement at another top Company fair and square, without sleeping with anyone,” Linda said . A lecturer said internship posts were not easy to secure and that “some students may end up doing just about anything to get such spots.” In most universities, internships are assessed and mandatory, with marks awarded at the end of the it.

How to Prepare When your Parents Want to Visit You at Campus

call them regularly, one time your mom will surely mumble something about their interest to visit you

Having your parents visit you at campus can both be exciting and worrying. You want to create that impression that you’re a focused and disciplined student, yet you’re somehow afraid they might smell some of your mess. For nice kids out there, thanks for the discipline. You have nothing to worry about when your parents promise to visit you, even when it’s just a surprise visit.
Yes — a surprise visit. It has ever happened to some I guess. Your parent calls you and says he/she is right there waiting for you at the university main gate. So you need to go out of the lecture room and meet them just the way you are, dressed in your skinnies. From there, they request you to take them to your room.

 Also read:http://jemedarimwanawakiume.blogspot.co.ke/2015/11/the-10-campus-commandments.html

If you’re the nice kid, this guide may not be for you.

For crazy kids out there, I guess you’ve got some dirty things you would like to hide from your parents. So, read on to find out how best to engineer the atmosphere when your parents drop in anytime.

First thing: You don’t want a surprise visit

Your parents are visiting. You should be glad. But you don’t want them to surprise you. So, how do you make sure they don’t visit without telling you?
Maintain a regular connection with them. Don’t disconnect yourself completely from them. If you call them regularly, one time your mom will surely mumble something about their interest to visit you. So you will know you’re expecting visitors anytime soon.

Mom and Dad are on the way: Hide the booze!

So now, let’s review quickly some of the things you need to hide far away from your parents’ sight. First, throw away any empty bottles of wine. You’re not a wine connoisseur. Clean your room and remove any traces of smoke and consumed cigarette pieces. Pin down those funny pictures of half-naked celebs from your wall, you’ll pin them up later when your parents have left. If you have a room-mate, you will want to request him/her to put his stuff in order.

Friends don’t visit. Boyfriend/Girlfriend don’t visit

Your intention is not to hide your friends or lover from your parents, but to actually remove possibilities of any mess happening. You know some of our friends don’t know how to behave right before our parents. They might end up speaking out things you never wanted your parents to know.

Thanks be to God, this is not a visitation day!

One thing you should like about your campus is that there is no V.D. That is only high school program. So don’t worry about your parents pestering you to meet your lecturers, or to look at your results. You’re now a young adult and you can only tell them how much you score only when you want. And in fact most parents will never mind about your results so long as you tell them the semester is done. They will only wait to see you graduate.

Finally

I will say this is a game you have to play right. I know it is never a good thing to hide something from your parents. But you don’t want to worry them either with your inappropriate behavior. Since you’re now a young adult, I think there are certain things you now need to keep by yourself. You need to start an individual journey, and it won’t be good if you expect your parents to accompany you.

What It Really Means To Do a Retake in a Kenyan University?

I have wanted to be honest about a couple of things that have characterized my University life. I have always felt like I should carry the cross that many are always afraid of carrying. Someone has to die so others can live.
So where do we start off? First, the formalities. My name is….(come-one, check the by-line). Many people when they find out that I was doing Geoinformatics, they get shocked. Why? Because of the stereotypes. I have had to deal with many of them considering that I have done numerous things not to be expected of Scientist students.
But those are all stories for another day. Let’s talk retakes today. When I joined University as a Fresher, I had the same great ambitions. My sights were set on getting a First Class. It all looked easy. Only that I found out, getting a first class had an opportunity cost. Most people who got first classes had no real campus experiences apart from those in libraries, and those of them burying their heads in hands.
I told myself; “Jemedari you are not your fucking grades, try to have a complete life at campus.” So I went on and had one. I dated a number of people, I made hundreds of friends, I attended parties, I traveled. I attended lectures in other courses and I also dodged a couple of lectures.
Then I got a retake. I didn’t know how to handle it. It was in Cartography. I later found out that the lecturer didn’t submit my practical marks and that’s how I ended up with my first retake. By the time I found out, it was already too late to change the result. I had only one option but to retake the paper.
Honestly, retakes suck. Retakes take a mental toll on you. They take away your self-esteem. They make you think you’re dumb. And since they have been framed in such a way where those who get them seem like outcasts, the worst thing that happens to a student’s academic life is getting a retake.
I still remember it vividly, going to the noticeboard and seeing that mark in bold, that mark that represented my failure. I refused to believe it. In fact, I denied it so hard that I wanted to do my retake in my final year at campus. Luckily, I passed.
Looking back however, that retake helped me gain a deeper understanding of the subject. This time round I actually read to understand, I gave it my all.
However, I still couldn’t bring myself to attending the lectures. In fact, I attended none of the lectures. How then did I get attendance marks? I got a girl who helped register my name for every lecture. And she updated me on everything.
There’s this part where you feel out of place sitting in a lecture room with all eyes looking at you in a judgmental way. They all have one goal, not to get a retake like you did. You are the perfect example of what happens when someone fails.
Then I thought I was done with retakes. I really thought I would never get another retake. And boom, I got one in Computer Science. Why? Again because of the practicals. Now that really sucks. Why? Because I still had to go through another semester listening to this boring and mean lecturer. He’s one of the most hated at campus. Everyone dreads a moment with him.
Again, I did that retake. This time round, my ego was stripped. I had lost all sense of academic shame. This was about me. I wasn’t my grades. I convinced myself that everything in life will always work out for the good.
There’s a component of life that retakes teach you. That is the component of failure and how to handle failure.
And just because I had two retakes doesn’t mean I didn’t have brains. On the contrary, I once got a 95% in an exam. The lecturer said that for all the years he’d taught, no student had ever got above 85% in that course unit. The same guy who got a retake had a couple of course units where he was unchallenged. It this taught me, you can’t be the best in everything. Find your niche and make the best of it. My niche was Energy and that’s where I specialized.
Whereas the dots may not seem to connect when you get the retake, looking with hindsight, those dots actually connect. It all makes sense at the end.
Retakes also taught me that for everything in life, do your homework and don’t take any chances. In all those course units where I got retakes, I hadn’t done full revision. I was gambling and trying to guess what the lecturer would set. I left a lot of gaps and it’s those gaps that brought my failure.
The experience of doing a retake brings you down to earth. First, your new course mates become people who are younger than you or at least have spent less time than you at campus. But now, you are on the same level with them and you have to work as a team.
Retakes build thick skin. Having gone through two retakes, I was more prepared for life after University. I knew that tough times come, but they don’t last. Nothing in life can take the place of a thick skin.
If I were to go back in time, would I wish to get the retake? Of course no. Retakes take time to do and they drain our your physical, mental and emotional energy. The time I spent working on the retakes would have been dedicated to much better things. Yet, I don’t have any regret that I got them. I picked my lessons that are for a lifetime.
Some people would rather pass with a 51% than get a retake and try to aim for higher marks. This is a wrong mentality. I saw guys who had no retake but they had a very bad DEGREE POINTS (G.P) simply because of this mentality.
If you sit for the retake and get higher marks, your G.P tremendously improves. That’s a secret I discovered. In fact, even though I had two retakes, I had a much superb G.P than those without any. I deserve my bragging rights. That goes to show that retakes didn’t define my intelligence in any way.
Even though they make you to get doubts about your intelligence and whether you had over-estimated it, it’s never the case. I had evidence from other course units that I was intelligent. Simple. All historical facts also proved that. I had scored straight A's in K.C.P.E and K.C.S.E. Mind you I was a guy who never revised. I never did winters. I avoided libraries. I simply tried to understand it the first time the teacher taught it.
To anyone with a retake, just know that you are not alone, those feelings that you have are mutual, I had the same. I felt like punching the lecturer, even felt like shedding a tear but then remembered I had balls so that was not an option.
Just go do the retake and try to make the best of it. Aim for an A in that retake. Your G.P will grow so rapidly I can promise.
And to those who may talk about you in secret, those who may laugh at your predicament, they don’t matter. This is not real life. And even if it was, you are much better experienced than them, don’t you see? They may have no retake but you have experience and nothing beats experience in life.
I will soon write about my University experience for the four years.
If you want to share your experience, email me: willymuchiri@gmail.com

I have wanted to be honest about a couple of things that have characterized my University life. I have always felt like I should carry the cross that many are always afraid of carrying. Someone has to die so others can live.
So where do we start off? First, the formalities. My name is….(come-one, check the by-line). Many people when they find out that I was doing Mechanical and Manufacturing Engineering, they get shocked. Why? Because of the stereotypes. I have had to deal with many of them considering that I have done numerous things not to be expected of engineering students.
But those are all stories for another day. Let’s talk retakes today. When I joined University as a Fresher, I had the same great ambitions. My sights were set on getting a First Class. It all looked easy. Only that I found out, getting a first class had an opportunity cost. Most people who got first classes had no real campus experiences apart from those in libraries, and those of them burying their heads in hands.
I told myself; “Ian you are not your fucking grades, try to have a complete life at campus.” So I went on and had one. I dated a number of people, I made hundreds of friends, I attended parties, I traveled. I attended lectures in other courses and I also dodged a couple of lectures.
Then I got a retake. I didn’t know how to handle it. It was in Materials Science. I later found out that the lecturer didn’t submit my practical marks and that’s how I ended up with my first retake. By the time I found out, it was already too late to change the result. I had only one option but to retake the paper.
Honestly, retakes suck. Retakes take a mental toll on you. They take away your self-esteem. They make you think you’re dumb. And since they have been framed in such a way where those who get them seem like outcasts, the worst thing that happens to a student’s academic life is getting a retake.
I still remember it vividly, going to the noticeboard and seeing that mark in bold, that mark that represented my failure. I refused to believe it. In fact, I denied it so hard that I only did my retake in my final year at campus. Luckily, I passed.
Looking back however, that retake helped me gain a deeper understanding of the subject. This time round I actually read to understand, I gave it my all.
However, I still couldn’t bring myself to attending the lectures. In fact, I attended none of the lectures. How then did I get attendance marks? I got a girl who helped register my name for every lecture. And she updated me on everything.
There’s this part where you feel out of place sitting in a lecture room with all eyes looking at you in a judgmental way. They all have one goal, not to get a retake like you did. You are the perfect example of what happens when someone fails.
Then I thought I was done with retakes. I really thought I would never get another retake. And boom, I got one in Electronics. Why? Again because of the practicals. Now that really sucks. Why? Because I still had to go through another semester listening to this boring and mean lecturer. He’s one of the most hated at campus. Everyone dreads a moment with him.
Again, I did that retake. This time round, my ego was stripped. I had lost all sense of academic shame. This was about me. I wasn’t my grades. I convinced myself that everything in life will always work out for the good.
There’s a component of life that retakes teach you. That is the component of failure and how to handle failure.
And just because I had two retakes doesn’t mean I didn’t have brains. On the contrary, I once got a 95% in an exam. The lecturer said that for all the years he’d taught, no student had ever got above 85% in that course unit. The same guy who got a retake had a couple of course units where he was unchallenged. It this taught me, you can’t be the best in everything. Find your niche and make the best of it. My niche was Energy and that’s where I specialized.
Whereas the dots may not seem to connect when you get the retake, looking with hindsight, those dots actually connect. It all makes sense at the end.
Retakes also taught me that for everything in life, do your homework and don’t take any chances. In all those course units where I got retakes, I hadn’t done full revision. I was gambling and trying to guess what the lecturer would set. I left a lot of gaps and it’s those gaps that brought my failure.
The experience of doing a retake brings you down to earth. First, your new course mates become people who are younger than you or at least have spent less time than you at campus. But now, you are on the same level with them and you have to work as a team.
Retakes build thick skin. Having gone through two retakes, I was more prepared for life after University. I knew that tough times come, but they don’t last. Nothing in life can take the place of a thick skin.
If I were to go back in time, would I wish to get the retake? Of course no. Retakes take time to do and they drain our your physical, mental and emotional energy. The time I spent working on the retakes would have been dedicated to much better things. Yet, I don’t have any regret that I got them. I picked my lessons that are for a lifetime.
Some people would rather pass with a 51% than get a retake and try to aim for higher marks. This is a wrong mentality. I saw guys who had no retake but they had a very bad CGPA simply because of this mentality.
If you sit for the retake and get higher marks, your CGPA tremendously improves. That’s a secret I discovered. In fact, even though I had two retakes, I had a much superb CGPA than those without any. I deserve my bragging rights. That goes to show that retakes didn’t define my intelligence in any way.
Even though they make you to get doubts about your intelligence and whether you had over-estimated it, it’s never the case. I had evidence from other course units that I was intelligent. Simple. All historical facts also proved that. I had 6 aggregates at P.7, 11 in 8 at Senior 4 and 21 points at Senior 6. Mind you I was a guy who never revised. I never did winters. I avoided libraries. I simply tried to understand it the first time the teacher taught it.
To anyone with a retake, just know that you are not alone, those feelings that you have are mutual, I had the same. I felt like punching the lecturer, even felt like shedding a tear but then remembered I had balls so that was not an option.
Just go do the retake and try to make the best of it. Aim for an A in that retake. Your CGPA will grow so rapidly I can promise.
And to those who may talk about you in secret, those who may laugh at your predicament, they don’t matter. This is not real life. And even if it was, you are much better experienced than them, don’t you see? They may have no retake but you have experience and nothing beats experience in life.
I will soon write about my University experience for the four years.
If you want to share your experience, email me: ortian@gmail.com
- See more at: http://campuseye.ug/what-it-really-means-to-do-a-retake-in-a-ugandan-university/#sthash.31FBJDoE.dpuf

The Best way to Protect your Laptop from being Stolen at Campus

Laptop theft at Moi University is at a high rate. According to my simple statistics, at least 10% of the students at campus who own a laptop have ever fallen victim of laptop theft. It is therefore necessary for one to know how best to keep his/her laptop from being stolen.

This information may also be valuable to all university students who own at least a given mobile device apart from a PC.

You will be surprised to know that keeping your laptop safe is actually no-brainer. It all revolves around individual responsibility and alertness. Only a few added things could be done to ensure your laptop isn’t easily stolen, or can be tracked easily when stolen.

Always carry your laptop inside a bag

Never carry your laptop naked, unless you’re inside a building or a lecture room. If you keep your laptop in a bag, it attracts less attention from the thieves, and they actually get no chance to know the type of the laptop or its size. I know some guys who want to move around campus holding their MaC books in their right hand and the charger tucked in their left pocket. I think this is one of the best ways to call thieves to attention. If you’re the type of person who wants to move around campus showing off with your lapie, I’m sure the thieves will show you how best the showing-off business can be done.

Never trust a stranger with your laptop

Never leave your bag with a stranger when going to the toilet. Never trust anyone with your laptop. Thieves dwell in places you least expect and every time their game is on. We don’t want to see you scream like a baby boy being circumcised. Never trust anyone with your gadget. Period.

Never leave your laptop in a car

A few years back I never believed in expert thieves. But nowadays I believe they exist in large numbers around campus. If you leave your laptop in your car, these guys will extract it out with ease. You’ll only know when an hour has passed.

Install tracking software on your laptop

You will need to download and install a piece of tracking software on your laptop. Alternatively, you may go to computer services centers and ask them to optimize the security of your laptop. Usually, they’ll install very strong tracking software on your computer which will enable you to track it when it is stolen. This software usually embeds itself at the core of the machine and no one can remove (un-install) it apart from you who knows the password of that particular program. Even if one changes the operating system or breaks the computer down, the tracking program remains active once the computer is turned on again because the program is usually installed at the core of the machine (low-level-installation). The only option the thief has is to announce it or to throw it in the toilet.

Avoid moving with your laptop alone at night

When thieves notice you have a laptop, they can decide to spy on you until they find a suitable time to snatch it away. So, when you move alone at night, you will be creating an opportunity for them. Be careful when traveling at night. It’s better if you move in a group.