HAVE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS IN MOI UNIVERSITY BECOME EXTINCT?

By Jemedari Mwanawakiume

another extinction has occurred: disappearance of the beautiful MU Girls

Everything is becoming extinct in the world, first, the real masculine men became extinct, and we got metro-sexual men. Then the real feminine women became extinct and we got she-males of sorts. I write with a lot of sadness this time round because, another extinction has occurred, it’s the disappearance of the beautiful Moi University Girls.

As I walked through MU recently, I couldn’t help but get lost in thoughts pondering on the question; “where did the beautiful girls, the hot girls that were littered allover MU go to?” I didn’t think they would disappear that fast.

First, the girls begun getting less beautiful, but we didn’t notice since they still had a good sense of fashion. However, the MU I saw on since the admision of the freshers was like no other MU before. The girls were below 4 in looks, they had the worst sense of fashion, one that would send a cold chill down a Campus Girl’s spine.

I Know this may hurt many, but so what? I am already hurt by the fact that the things that made me look forward to loitering around MU, the beautiful heavenly creations that God had placed in MU are no more. Who ate them all? How could they disappear and not even leave a single trace of their existence?

For the first time, I didn’t see those girls in MU that gave me a boner. This had never happened before. In the past, even before I thought of getting to MU, the creatures one would find in Hostel J would be enough to declare MU without question as the mother-land of everything that has beautiful and hotness to its name.

For the first time in many months, the hastag #BringBackOurGirls will make sense to me. It seems the Al shabaab or the Boko-Haram abducted all the beautiful girls from MU. It’s on this note that I am calling upon the whole Student Council to create a commission of inquiry to investigate the causes of extinction. And since dinosaurs also disappeared in such a joking manner, so are the MU girls.

Sources have it, that most of these girls are opting for JKUAT, and that may be true. Because if one took a sample space from JKUAT, 9 out of 10 girls would be a 9 on the hotness scale of 10. But why did it have to happen to MU?

Did the MU dudes become very boring that the girls opted to migrate? Perhaps it’s another of those migrations where the hot girls migrated from MU to Maseno University (Siaya Campus) and MMUST and the ugly ones migrated from UoN and KU to MU.

Cry beloved Moi University because things have fallen apart. The moment the female lecturers begin to look more attractive than the female students they lecture, you know that something is amiss.

What happened to the beautiful girls at MU? Could they be hiding in Hostel K, Hostel L or at the HOUSES? Because they can’t even be traced along the ADMIN-STAGE streets, not even in K-STREET (Road to Hostel K, L & M)?

I am writing this article as a notice of appeal to anyone who find a beautiful MU girl. Kindly Whatsapp her photo to my number 0724-382-729 and if you are a beautiful MU girl and you believe you exist, send me a HOT photo of yourself on 0724-382-729 or contact me via my blog (CAMPUS VIBE254) By leaving your comment.

Otherwise, if 30 days pass without any response, I will sermon the elders of this country, the current Team Mafisi Sec. Gen MOLLIS, the CDF (Comrades Defence Force), and the whole Team Mafisi Members and we shall quickly begin a one year mourning period as a way of grieving for the death and extinction of the hot girls, the beautiful girls, the ones with milk and honey properties, the ones who stir up boners in us, yes we shall be mourning for our sweet pretty girls that used to fill up Moi University.

For God and Our University.