#MYHEARTFORHER
#LOVEMETHEWAYI'M
Cheating in a relationship is, of course, not
monopolized by either gender. Men cheat, women cheat, and according
to studies, they have different reasons for doing so.
I don’t think we can necessarily just say “men
cheat for this reason, and women cheat for this reason,” though.
Each individual person and scenario brings about a reason or reasons
of its own.
That being said though, I think we need to be
careful of blanket statements like all men cheat or all women cheat.
As a man, I can only speak on behalf of myself. I have never cheated
and would never cheat not because I'm Single— but when I say this
to people they always ask how I can say I would never cheat?
There are plenty of reasons why I would never even
have the thought cross my mind…
1. I believe my GF will
appreciates what I have.
Obviously, this is a big reason. The more she
appreciates me, the more valuable she is to me, and the less I'll be
willing risk losing her or hurting her. When a good man truly loves
and appreciates the woman in his life would never act in ways that
put his relationship with her in jeopardy.
2. I have
evolved beyond my primal urges.
We all have biological urges instilled in us by
billions of years of evolution. The desire to reproduce, sexual
attraction, so on and so forth. This is often used as an excuse for
cheating because “we are not built for monogamy.” While monogamy
isn’t necessarily natural to humans, a good man understands that
being natural is not the point.
Monogamy is a choice. It is a pledge to the person
you love to commit yourself to them, and only them. I have the
ability to resist my basic urges for the sake of a more important
choice I have made for myself.
3. I
value love over a fleeting experience.
When you are in a loving, committed relationship
with someone, there are far more layers of fulfillment than just s*x.
A relationship based solely on s*xual attraction is a flimsy one that
could fall apart at the first challenge; but when two people
genuinely love and respect each other, they can weather any storm.
Some people spend their lives searching for that
kind of connection. Some find it quickly, some take longer, but when
a good man does find it – the thought of throwing it all away for a
few minutes of s*xual satisfaction (that he could get at home anyway)
just makes no sense.
4. I
have a conscience.
A simple reason, yes – but a strong one
nonetheless. The constant guilt associated with cheating on a woman
you love and then having to pretend everything is great when you are
around her; I would imagine, is impossibly difficult.
5.I will
respect the lady in my life. (though she isn't there)
Cheating is disrespect. It is casting someone
else’s feelings aside because of something temporary you want. But
not just something you want; something you want at the expense of
your girlfriend/wife, and your relationship. Cheating is lying to
someone, it is breaking their trust, and those are not things you do
to someone you respect.
6. I
have grown past adding notches to
my bedpost.
A man who is secure and confident in himself no
longer has a need to validate his manhood or self-worth by proving he
can ‘get the girl.’ Men who are insecure often times need to
continue achieving conquests in order to feel like men. Anyone in
this position would be better served to simply stay single and sew
their wild oats before they choose to commit to someone exclusively.
7.I
respect myself.
C. S. Lewis once said: Integrity is doing the
right thing, even when no one is watching. I think some men stop
themselves from cheating simply because they are afraid of getting
caught – but good men would stay faithful even if it were
guaranteed that nobody would find out if they weren’t.
Why? Because he respects himself. He holds a
certain standard for the way he lives his life and the character he
has worked so hard to build and maintain. Entering into a committed
relationship is not just a pledge to your partner, it is also a
pledge that your future self will uphold the promises your present
self has made.
8. I
don’t take the easy way out.
Cheating is the easy way out. It’s the easy way
out of a bad relationship. It’s the easy way to escape. It’s the
easy way to avoid responsibility for a breakup by doing something
stupid and having her end it instead. It is a way to avoid facing
your problems rather than standing up and dealing with them like a
grown adult.
Not all relationships are meant to last. Breakups
happen every day and for all different reasons — but a I will
understand that and take it in stride. If I am in a relationship I
know isn’t going to work, or if the time comes I have fallen out of
love and know I shouldn’t be stringing my girlfriend on any longer,
I will sit her down and have an adult conversation with her about my
feelings. I will not start acting single while I am still in a
relationship.
9. I
values my reputation.
In an earlier point we discussed the concept of
integrity and how a good man still wouldn’t cheat even if he was
guaranteed to get away with it. The reality of it is though, that he
is not guaranteed to get away with it. Some do, and some don’t –
but the ones who don’t find themselves with a ruined reputation and
behind the 8-ball when it comes to trustworthiness.
Being labeled as a cheater is not just about your
romantic life, it permeates your entire character and makes people
look at you differently. If you would turn your back and betray the
person you ‘love,’ how are people with lesser connections with
you supposed to take your word for anything?
10. I
will never turn my back on a
friend.
In a happy, healthy relationship – we are not
only lovers, but friends. Best friends. we are each others support
systems, teammates, and confidants. I will never betray a friend, let
alone a best friend.
11. I
don’t even have time to cheat.
You might be thinking to yourself — that’s not
a very good reason…am I saying that if I was less busy or had more
time I would be hanging out at the bar trying to pick up women?
Absolutely not — if I was less busy or had more time I would be
using that time to find new ways to love the lady I already have.
That’s why I doesn’t have the time to cheat,
because the time I do have is dedicated to the girl I love. The lady
I have committed myself to. The lady who I spend my life trying to
make happy. The lady I see as an extension of myself. The lady I have
tied my emotions to. Hurting her would be hurting myself — and that
is something no good man would choose to do.
Cheating is not an accident. It is not something
you slip and fall into. It is not an immediate event that nobody saw
coming. It requires the same process that any seduction would — an
initial meeting, flirting, maybe some exchanging of information, an
invitation, an acceptance of said invitation, and then finally the
act itself. There are countless chances for a man to say “sorry,
I’m in a relationship,” which is exactly what a man who is truly
committed to you will do. Every time.
i hope she reads this.
#Shaz
ReplyDeleteThat’s why I doesn’t have the time to cheat, because the time I do have is dedicated to the girl I love. The lady I have committed myself to. The lady who I spend my life trying to make happy. The lady I see as an extension of myself. The lady I have tied my emotions to. Hurting her would be hurting myself — and that is something no good man would choose to do.
Cheating is not an accident. It is not something you slip and fall into. It is not an immediate event that nobody saw coming. It requires the same process that any seduction would — an initial meeting, flirting, maybe some exchanging of information, an invitation, an acceptance of said invitation, and then finally the act itself. There are countless chances for a man to say “sorry, I’m in a relationship,” which is exactly what a man who is truly committed to you will do. Every time.
.......nyc one I truly hope "she" reads this.
Hahaaa......She will when one day she finds herself in my heart..
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