THE 6 TYPES OF ROOMMATES YOU FIND AT CAMPUS

Dear Fresher's,

By Jemedari Mwanawakiume

It’s fun to have a roommate; it’s always fun to share memories with another person. Besides, having a roommate can prove beneficial in times when you are broke and your roomie bails you out. Or, your roomie may have cool friends that end up becoming yours too. And the greatest advantage of roommates is that you get to share costs. Despite this, roommates come in all types, with different characters, you ought to know the 6 types of roommates you will find at campus:

1. THE ROOMMATE that’s obsessed with you

 This kind of roommate is so obsessed with you

You know the roomie that holds onto you the way DIAMOND holds onto BOSSLADY. This kind of roommate is so obsessed with you, she literally clings to you. She will call to find out why you are taking long to get back from lectures. Literally with this roomie, you won’t have any breathing space. They take it a step further and try to act how you exact, try to hang out in the same places you do, even share your clothes without seeking permission. For these roomies, just because you live together automatically makes you best friends. Trust me, the day you aint around and your boyfriend passes over, this roomie will willingly play your role and offer your guy head to keep him company. Watch out for these creeps, these clingers.

2. THE ACADEMIC FREAK AKA NERD

they read like their life depends on it

Very very common in University hostels and halls. These guys will make your guilty conscience rise up; they will make you feel like you are wasting your parent’s money happening instead of reading. They turn the room into a library, fill it with handouts, they read like their life depends on it. They will come to you and complain about a lecturer who offered them an 85% instead of an 86%. Poor you, you will be celebrating because you survived a retake.

In exam periods, they wake up at 4am and do winters. These kind of roomies have no life. They won’t even allow you to play loud music in peace. They will never climb the tree when you come over with your boyfriend or girlfriend. They just don’t give you space. Please avoid them too.

3. THE EXILER, Sex Maniac and Space Hog

Usually named Emmy, these roomies will make you climb a tree from the time the semester begins till it ends. They are very narcissistic, they care more about their orgasm and blowing their load than letting you to have some cool sleep in your bed.

He will use your Ipad to take photos of him and his babe

The only way to manage these roomies is to pay them in the same currency. Otherwise, if your game is weak and you are team dry spell, these guys will make you feel the pain of being single and having no bean. Because for these roomies, they always have bean to eat anytime they desire.

Not only that, these exilers will use your stuff to impress their girls. He will get out your freshly washed bed-sheets and have sex on them. He will use your Ipad to take photos of him and his babe. Sometimes, he will even ask you to take photos of them kissing and cuddling.

4. THE ROOM COMMITTEE ROOMMATE aka Omondis and Nakhumichas.

Ever imagine when a group of people from one region of Kenya descend onto your room and begin discussing in loud voices in their mother tongues. Well, there’s always that kind of roomie who gathers all his/her tribe mates every week and brings them to the room, occupy every part of the room then go into conversations that have no importance to life. They will shout, argue in their language, disorganize your bed, spoil your stuff.

These roomies are usually from Western or Nyanza, so watch out if your roomie is from that region because my friend trouble is coming.

5. THE WEIRD ROOMMATE

Some roommates are just weird, especially some of those from an "Outreach Church". They are too perfect for life. There’s nothing human about them. This kind of roomie is always too silent, will never pick an argument with you, always too clean, everything of theirs is organized. They have a certain way they arrange their stuff in a room, they are too much of a perfectionist, ever doing their laundry. If you live with such a roomie, you will think something is wrong with you.

Some of them are even in the fellowship. You even fear to play your Jamaican music in their presence. Every night they wake up and pray, then pray before they go to bed. Generally, you may think of yourself as a sinner in your presence. I had this kind of roomie, I always had to target when he went home so I could bring in my girlfriend otherwise he gave you this look of you are going to hell.

6. THE PARTY ANIMAL

Ayayayayayayah, think you’ve seen party animals, wait when you live with one for a roommate. They begin partying on Wednesday and only stop on Sunday to recover from the hangover, but even they, there will be a bottle or two to help the recovery. They know all the cool hangout spots, they are known in all these spots because they are regulars. This kind of roomie will always dodge lectures because of a heavy head.

If it’s a lady, she will always wake up in strange beds after a one night stand and come back crying how she was used. She will always do shisha and even try to convert you to try her lifestyle. Very common at Hostel G and Hostel L.